Citizens for Family Preservation

THINGS EXTENDED FAMILY NEED TO KNOW

 

So, an extended family member of yours is having difficulty with lifestyle choices, mental health or drug addictions, significant other issues like domestic violence, and system concerns of one type or another and now there may be a need to remove the children or the children have already been removed.  You may be one of the preferred choices by the parents for placement. This may or may not be convenient and perhaps this comes as a complete rearrangement of your life plans. A few choice issues to digest:

 

  1. If you live out of state they will not place with you. Sometimes if you just live in another county and are inconvenient they will also balk. This is because of the requirement to initially reunify the parents with the children so visitation is critical. If the parents are willing to sign over their rights and you are willing to either adopt or become a guardian, this may go easier. Be careful of this. Many have signed over their rights with the understanding that the children would go to relatives just to have the state pull the rug out from under everyone and adopt out to strangers.
  2. Don’t call CPS on your relatives unless the children are in clear and present danger, Just feeling like they might be is not a reason to call.  Try and work out the issues within the unit. Consider doing an informal placement first (just get the kids and raise them without government involvement) If those issues cannot be worked out then know where the children are going to go if you want the children to stay within the family. The potential caregiver must complete an FBI and state background check. I recommend getting both before CPS is called. Know that if there are any former CPS calls with that family member or legal history this may stop the relative placement. Former domestic violence WILL be held against you even if you were the victim. Doing the FBI check will take up to 13 weeks. Make sure and have multiple prints because they tend to smear and get sent back.
  3. Get a private homestudy done. You can find someone through an adoption agency. Prices vary but expect at least $500.
  4. Foster care is not always safe. The government propaganda would have you believe it is, but one third of the children are getting sexually and physically abused in foster care. One fifth to one half are getting drugged up with psychotropic medication not approved for children then suffering severe side effects. Most of them end up dropping out of school and become incarcerated. They always refer to foster care as “loving families” but some love you may not want the children around.
  5. Watch this two hour streaming video because it will tell you what not to do: http://www.dshs.wa.gov/ca/partners/trainingvidClinical.asp
  6. Also read this: http://www.americanhumane.org/assets/docs/protecting-children/PC-fgdm-ib-washinton-state.pdf because this will explain why they don’t want to place with family due to red tape
  7. If you are low income they may resist placing with you. Also if your credit is bad.
  8. Your home needs to be clean, decently furnished and have safety items including fire extinguisher and locks on the drawers and cupboards.
  9. They are getting picky about what people eat. If you are fat they will think the kids will also become fat.
  10. It depends on the area and caseworker, but some are religion haters. Know in advance which one they are by asking the right questions.
  11. If the adult child (parent) thinks you suck as a parent this will get held against you
  12. Hire an attorney if you can afford one. If you can’t, read my legal pro se page. Know what a motion and affidavit are.
  13. Do not take your time with this. Do not let CPS take their time. Try and get the children in your home within three months otherwise they will say you are not bonded to the children and the foster parents are.
  14. Do everything via motion. If you depend on CPS to do everything then they will find the easiest way out.
  15. Make sure you have visitation and to get that, make sure you know the laws in your state regarding this. Don’t miss visits.
  16. Your options are informal placement, third party custody, guardianship and adoption. Know that CPs prefers adoption but guardianship is about the same. If you opt for third party custody and they find someone who wants to adopt, they can find a reason to pull the children and adopt them out.
  17. If the adult children (parents) are potentially a danger to the children then don’t fudge and let them have them off the property. If the children get hurt because you don’t have boundaries, then everyone loses.
  18. Read everything you can get your hands on about current parenting methods. If you spank and/or spank with items, this will not go well. Know what a time out and redirection is along with positive reinforcement.
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